


coolatta, we have a problem

by PurpleCatGhost



Series: HLVRAI Fanfics [11]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Texting, chat fic, chat fic with plot, pure indulgence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27376894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleCatGhost/pseuds/PurpleCatGhost
Summary: Forzen 2: i need you to be completely honest with meSodaGod: I can do thatFrozen 2: is my contact name still ‘Frozen 2’SodaGod: UhSodaGod: Yeah?Frozen 2: disappointed but not surprised(Tommy accidentally leaves his phone at a soda parlor and by chance, Darnold picks it up right as Forzen starts spamming Tommy's phone... And because of it, something new will spark between the three of them.)
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Darnold & Forzen (Half-Life), Tommy Coolatta & Darnold, Tommy Coolatta & Forzen, Tommy Coolatta/Darnold/Forzen
Series: HLVRAI Fanfics [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744285
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	1. Soda And Chance Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> In which Darnold meets Tommy and Forzen.
> 
> (I think I did a good job of showing who is who but just in case  
> SodaGod: Tommy's Contact Name  
> Frozen 2: Forzen's Contact Name  
> PotionsMan: Darnold's Contact Name)

**[1:23PM]**

**[Private Conversation between Frozen 2 & SodaGod]**

Frozen 2: TOMMY

Frozen 2: TOMMY PLEASE

Frozen 2: TOMMY I NEED A FAVOR ANSWER YOUR PHONE

SodaGod: Hello??

Frozen 2: oh thank god

Frozen 2: i need your help

SodaGod: Uh

SodaGod: Bit of an issue but uhhhh…

SodaGod: I’m not Tommy?

Frozen 2: im staring at your contact picture so im pretty sure you are

Forzen 2: oh goddamn it

Frozen 2: did Benrey switch up my contacts again

Frozen 2: im going to kill him.

Frozen 2: he promised he wouldn’t after The Incident™️

SodaGod: The incident..?

SodaGod: Never mind, not important

SodaGod: But your contacts aren’t wrong!

SodaGod: This is Tommy’s phone, I’m just not Tommy!

SodaGod: Sorry for the mix up!

Frozen 2: oh

Frozen 2: who are you then?

SodaGod: Darnold! I go by He/Him!

SodaGod: Thaaat’s probably not very helpful either because you don’t know who I am 

SodaGod: But your friend forgot his phone at my work and I was gonna try and get into contact with someone in his phone so he knows to come back and get it

SodaGod: I work at a soda parlor!

Frozen 2: sounds accurate

Frozen 2: shit this doesnt help though

Frozen 2: how long ago did he leave it there? i really need to talk to him

SodaGod: About an hour and a half ago?

Frozen 2: shit uh

Frozen 2: hold on

SodaGod: You’re not like… In a dangerous situation right now and the only way you can get out is by talking to Tommy right?

Frozen 2: thats a highly specific question 

Frozen 2: you must either be some sort of detective or very lucky to have guessed that exactly situation

Frozen 2: either way you wont like my answer

SodaGod: Oh god is that exactly what’s happening??

SodaGod: Did you do soemthing??

Frozen 2: uhhhhhhhhhhh

Frozen 2: different question 

Frozen 2: plausible deniability Darnold

Frozen 2: stick to it and dont ask questions 

SodaGod: Can I at least get your name?

SodaGod: Can I help in some way??

Frozen 2: you do not want to help 

Frozen 2: and it’s Forzen. also he/him

SodaGod: Ohhhh…

SodaGod: Sorry that just explains a lot

Frozen 2: …

Frozen 2: Darnold

Frozen 2: i need you to be completely honest with me

SodaGod: I can do that

Frozen 2: is my contact name still ‘Frozen 2’

SodaGod: Uh

SodaGod: Yeah?

Frozen 2: disappointed but not surprised

Frozen 2: dammit now ive been disappointed twice 

Frozen 2: losing your phone, Tommy?

Frozen 2: seriously?

Frozen 2: i thought he was supposed to be the brains

SodaGod: Should I leave you alone?

SodaGod: This isn’t my phone and all I don’t want to distract you from… Whatever it is you’re doing?

Frozen 2: hm

Frozen 2: i kinda like your company is the thing

SodaGod: I mean I have a phone? 

SodaGod: I can just add your number and text you on that?

Frozen 2: that works

SodaGod: Okay uh give me a second!

—

**[1:41PM]**

**[Private Conversation between Potionsman & Frozen 2]**

PotionsMan: Testing, Testing…

PotionsMan: Forzen, can you read me?

Frozen 2: you realize this isnt a walkie talkie right 

PotionsMan: I’ll take that as a yes!

PotionsMan: It’s me btw! Darnold!

Frozen 2: kinda figured

Frozen 2: weird question but i have no idea what to register your name as

PotionsMan: Darnold Pepper!

Frozen 2: no i mean

Frozen 2: nicknames only

Frozen 2: thats the rule on my phone

PotionsMan: Oh uh

PotionsMan: Hmm…

Frozen 2: give me literally anything to work with

Frozen 2: i got nothing right now and im a bit occupied 

PotionsMan: Are you sure I should be bothering you?

Frozen 2: yes 

PotionsMan: Okay um…

PotionsMan: I help make soda? Is that something to go off of?

Frozen 2: you actually make the soda?

PotionsMan: Little bit! Helps to have the machines but I definitely help with the flavors!

PotionsMan: It’s actually really fun

PotionsMan: When I pour the syrup in, it kinda makes me feel like I’m a witch making potions!

Frozen 2: huh. i can work with that

Frozen 2: i hereby dub you ‘PotionsMan’

Frozen 2: that cool?

PotionsMan: Yeah!

PotionsMan: So Forzen, are you okay??

PotionsMan: I mean you’re texting me and you seem calm but it’s hard to tell over text?

Frozen 2: physically i am okay 

Frozen 2: internally i am panicking a bit

Frozen 2: which i think is a valid response to being shot at

PotionsMan: BEING WHAT

PotionsMan: PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING

Frozen 2: do i look like im joking

PotionsMan: I CAN'T SEE YOUR FACE FORZEN, I CAN’T TELL

Frozen 2: _[Image Sent]_

Frozen 2: now you can

PotionsMan: Oh

PotionsMan: oh

PotionsMan: You look good

PotionsMan: Also looks like you're being serious and WAIT A SECOND

PotionsMan: ARE YOU BLEEDING

Frozen 2: did you just now realize this

PotionsMan: I WAS DISTRACTED FROZEN 

PotionsMan: WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING AND WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE SCARS??

Frozen 2: distracted by what?

PotionsMan: NOT IMPORTANT

PotionsMan: YOU ARE BLEEDING FORZEN

Frozen 2: doesnt hurt that much

PotionsMan: I...

PotionsMan: I find that hard to believe??

Frozen 2: ive taken worse

PotionsMan: That’s even more concerning!

PotionsMan: My shift doesn’t end for another half hour and I don’t think I’m gonna survive to the end of it like this!!

Frozen 2: oh shit am i distracting you from your job

Frozen 2: my bad

PotionsMan: No, no

PotionsMan: Forzen, it’s fine, it’s a slow day anyways

PotionsMan: But seriously do you need to go to a hospital??

PotionsMan: Are you okay??

Frozen 2: trust me im fine

Frozen 2: my wounds arent bad really i just need a way out rn

Frozen 2: and Tommy’s my go-to guy

PotionsMan: Is he your getaway driver or something??

Frozen 2: uh

Frozen 2: lets go with ‘or something’

PotionsMan: Frozen are you

PotionsMan: Like. A criminal or something??

PotionsMan: Are you being chased by the authorities??

Frozen 2: again ‘or something’ fits better

Frozen 2: not the bad guy i promise

PotionsMan: Swear on your life?

Frozen 2: mine and Tommy’s

Frozen 2: not the bad guys 

PotionsMan: Okay… If you’re lying to me I’m gonna

PotionsMan: Uh

PotionsMan: I’ll make you feel really guilty!

Frozen 2: not lying

Frozen 2: seriously i promise

PotionsMan: Okay okay

PotionsMan: Oh wait hold on

Frozen 2: holding

—

**[1:56PM]**

**[Private Conversation between Potionsman & Frozen 2]**

PotionsMan: Well uh

PotionsMan: I think your ‘or something’ is gonna be on his way soon!

Frozen 2: oh shit was that him coming back for his phone?

PotionsMan: Yeah!

PotionsMan: I gotta clean up a bit anyways so I’ll leave you two to it?

Frozen 2: yeah this might take a minute 

Frozen 2: thanks for the distraction 

Frozen 2: needed it

PotionsMan: No problem!

PotionsMan: So… You’re all good, right?

Frozen 2: yea

PotionsMan: And you’ll be okay?

Frozen 2: yea dont worry bout me

Frozen 2: me n Tommy got this

Frozen 2: if you ever get bored again hmu 

Frozen 2: or if you just wanna y’know

PotionsMan: Right back at you!

PotionsMan: I know we just met but uh are you going to tell me what’s going on sometime later when you’re not being shot at?

Frozen 2: probably 

Frozen 2: later tho

Frozen 2: anyways Tommy is texting me so I gotta go

Frozen 2: see you around 

PotionsMan: See you around!

—

**[1:59PM]**

**[Private Conversation between SodaGod & Frozen 2]**

SodaGod: What did you do?

Frozen 2: heya Tommy

SodaGod: Forzen

SodaGod: You panic texted a cute worker at a soda parlor for the last half hour and have a long history of avoiding the issue so I’m starting to think we really don’t have time for small talk?

Frozen 2: never saw his face but he cute?

SodaGod: Forzen this really isn’t the time!

SodaGod: What did you do?

Frozen 2: remember when you gave me specific instructions not to do something?

SodaGod: Oh my fucking god

SodaGod: On my day off??

SodaGod: On my day off of all days??

SodaGod: Forzen!

Frozen 2: i know i know im sorry

SodaGod: Just

SodaGod: Who did you take with you?

SodaGod: ...Please don’t say it

Frozen 2: no yeah im alone

SodaGod: FORZEN

Frozen 2: i know

SodaGod: You couldn’t even take Benrey?

Frozen 2: hes terrible for stealth when in groups and we both know it

SodaGod: It’s better than going ALONE, Forzen!

SodaGod: I’m on my way and I’m not happy

Frozen 2: thank you and i know


	2. Car Rides And Laser Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BennyBoy: i’m just saying like
> 
> BennyBoy: you’re working yourself to death man
> 
> BennyBoy: s’not good
> 
> BennyBoy: that’s how people get scurvy
> 
> SodaGod: That’s 
> 
> SodaGod: I don’t think you know how scurvy works!
> 
> BennyBoy: oh right 
> 
> BennyBoy: it only affects pirates 
> 
> SodaGod: No?
> 
> BennyBoy: well my life is a lie then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops chapter 2 time

**[2:55PM]**

**[Private Conversation Between Frozen 2 & SodaGod]**

Frozen 2: Tommy

Frozen 2: are you pissed 

Frozen 2: i know you’re mad but are you pissed

Frozen 2: youre not answering me in real life or in text so im gonna take that as a yes

SodaGod: I’m not pissed

Frozen 2: youre not supposed to text and drive 

SodaGod: Stop texting me then!

Frozen 2: but then i cant talk to you

SodaGod: What a shame that would be

Frozen 2: oh god

Frozen 2: youre using sarcasm

SodaGod: I can use sarcasm!

SodaGod: Why is that a surprise??

Frozen 2: bc it means youre pissed

Frozen 2: youre pissed arent you

SodaGod: I’m really trying to drive Frozen!

SodaGod: I can’t do that if you’re distracting me!

Frozen 2: talk to me then

SodaGod: Not right now I’m trying to drive

Frozen 2: you can do both at the same time

SodaGod: Not if I’m gonna be yelling!

Frozen 2: so you ARE pissed

Frozen 2: damn i knew it

Frozen 2: never a good sign when you make me sit in the back

SodaGod: It was so you could lay down

SodaGod: You’re still bleeding 

SodaGod: ...And also so I wouldn’t get road rage 

Frozen 2: knew itttt

Frozen 2: talk to me

SodaGod: I am

Frozen 2: you know what i mean

—

Tommy glances at the message on his phone and lets out a huff before returning his eyes to the road. 

“I know you saw it.” Forzen calls to him. Tommy refuses to react in any way shape or form. Instead, his eyes remain glued to the road ahead of them. “Stop ignoring me, I know you can hear me.”

“Not right now, Forzen.” Tommy mumbles, then immediately bites his tongue. He shouldn’t have responded. That’s only going to encourage Forzen and Tommy already has enough to deal with.

Tommy glances at all the cars nearby him, specifically checking their drivers. None of the cars have tinted windows- a good sign. Most of the drivers around him right now don’t immediately set off any alarms- another good sign.

His shoulders roll and try to relax. He glances in the rear view mirror, looking over Forzen again before checking himself. Everything looks normal- Tommy looks perfectly normal- but he can’t be too careful. Tommy can never be too careful these days. Not with everything on the line, not with everything he needs to keep track of- not after everything _everything **everything-**_

Tommy’s phone lights up again. He glances at it, catching a hint of the message.

_Frozen 2: you look tense_

It takes everything in him not to make another sarcastic response. _Of course I’m tense, I gave you one specific instruction and you went against it anyways. On my day off too- you know how many of these I get a year, Forzen, and you took one of the few ones I have away from me._

Another text pops up. 

_Frozen 2: deep breath_

Tommy sucks in a breath, doing so with an irritated look on his face. He hates that Forzen can read him right now. Usually Tommy is good about it but his emotions are raw and unfiltered right now. There’s no concealing it.

_Frozen 2: cant we talk_

With one hand, Tommy reaches over and quickly types in a response, all while keeping a steady eye on the road. Forzen is lucky Tommy’s gotten good at multitasking. He wouldn’t have lasted this long without it.

_SodaGod: Stop texting me I need to focus_

To Tommy's surprise, no new messages seem to come after that. His eyes do another quick sweep of everything- _eyes on the road, check the cars and their drivers, check Forzen and his wounds, check yourself and your posture, deep breaths, stay calm, stay collected, and above all act natural._ Though for a moment, he notes that Forzen seems to still be texting, even if Tommy gets no new texts.

Minutes pass by. Tommy’s starting to think he’s in the clear when his phone lights up again. He’s almost frustrated until he stares at the new number in confusion. Then he’s thrown in for a loop when he reads the message and mentally suppresses his urge to slam his foot down on the break.

_“Did you tattle on me?”_ Tommy finally turns his head to look at Forzen for a brief moment, sending a look as he does. He can hardly believe it. _“You-_ you tattled on me to the soda parlor worker?”

“You weren’t talking to me.” Forzen says, like that explains everything. 

Tommy honestly wants to bang his head against the horn of the car and let it ring out in frustration. Unfortunately, he can’t do that because he’s on the highway and would really rather avoid a crash. That’s the last thing they need right now.

“Okay- fine! We’re- we’re talking!”

“You’re stressed.”

_“Great_ observation.”

_“Tommy.”_

That makes him stop. Because Forzen is looking at the rear view mirror and he sounds genuine and softer than before. “I’m sorry.”

He knows, at least. That he owes Tommy an apology. Hearing it outloud feels nice. A pound taken away from the load on his chest. Tommy can breath just a little easier and finds his words leave him easier too.

“I told you not to go there. I gave you one thing to do and- and it was just to _not_ do something. One thing! I- I didn’t think it would be that hard to follow!”

“I’m sorry.” Forzen repeats. "I wasn't thinking and I didn't mean for this to happen." He’s making it hard to get mad at him with that look on his face. 

“I- I need you to understand that it’s not because you went against my wishes or- or because you’re making me work on my day off. You got _hurt,_ Forzen. I’m- I’m mad because you got hurt and you _scared_ me. I don't like it when you get hurt!"

“I know.” Forzen’s voice is quieter now, guilty. “I’m sorry.”

It’s so easy to let it go. Tommy breathes out and one of the knots in his chest is gone. “I forgive you.” Tommy always tries make that as clear as possible after a fight with Forzen. Otherwise he usually doesn’t get the message and assumes Tommy is still mad, even weeks after the fight. “Just… Please don’t do that again?”

Forzen nods. Tommy does another sweep- _road, cars and drivers, Forzen, yourself, stay calm-_ before his eyes linger to the phone sitting on his stand. He pauses before reaching over to it. 

—

**[3:33PM]**

**[Private Conversation Between PotionsMan & SodaGod]**

PotionsMan: Testing, one, two, three…

PotionsMan: Is this Tommy?

PotionsMan: Hello! I’m Darnold! The soda worker guy who Forzen spoke to earlier?

PotionsMan: He wants me to tell you that he really wants to talk with you

PotionsMan: ...I thiiink I said that right?

SodaGod: Hey Darnold, it’s Tommy!

SodaGod: Me and Forzen talked don’t worry!

PotionsMan: Oh! Good!

PotionsMan: Sorry I don’t mean to intrude but Forzen just seemed really worried and I kinda offered without thinking?

PotionsMan: I think he said you were driving so I’ll leave you to that!

SodaGod: I’m a good multitasker it’s okay

SodaGod: And sorry you got dragged into all this

PotionsMan: Oh no, it’s perfectly fine by me!

PotionsMan: You and Forzen seem like pretty cool people from what I’ve seen!

PotionsMan: If either of you ever want to meet up and talk some more, you know where I work!

SodaGod: I’ll keep that in mind!

—

**[6:12PM]**

**[Private Conversation Between BennyBoy & SodaGod]**

BennyBoy: yoooooooo

BennyBoy: tommyyyyyyyy

BennyBoy: tommmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

BennyBoy: tommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

SodaGod: Benreyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

BennyBoy: ey there you are

BennyBoy: tommy listen

BennyBoy: listen tommy 

BennyBoy: are you listening 

SodaGod: I’m listening!!

SodaGod: Listening with all of my might!

BennyBoy: hell yeah

BennyBoy: okay listen

SodaGod: Still listening!

BennyBoy: okay okay so

BennyBoy: this is so very important

BennyBoy: most important thing ever

BennyBoy: wanna go play laser tag

SodaGod: Laser Tag?

SodaGod: I’m kinda making sure Forzen’s wound is gonna heal properly right now

BennyBoy: oh shit did he actually do what i think he did

SodaGod: Yep :/

BennyBoy: man

BennyBoy: even more reason to play laser tag

BennyBoy: you gotta take the load off

SodaGod: I still gotta tend to Forzen though

BennyBoy: stick gramps on him

BennyBoy: gramps is good with that stuff too he’ll be fiiiiine

SodaGod: I can’t just ditch him!

BennyBoy: yeah but like

BennyBoy: it's still your day off isn’t it

BennyBoy: so you can

BennyBoy: it’s only fair

SodaGod: ...Maybe

SodaGod: I’ll see if Mr. Coomer is available 

BennyBoy: poggggggg

BennyBoy: you need a break man

BennyBoy: like. a week-long break

SodaGod: I can’t take a week-long break! 

SodaGod: I have responsibilities!

SodaGod: That’s not really something I can just do!

BennyBoy: i’m just saying like

BennyBoy: you’re working yourself to death man

BennyBoy: s’not good

BennyBoy: that’s how people get scurvy

SodaGod: That’s 

SodaGod: I don’t think you know how scurvy works!

BennyBoy: oh right 

BennyBoy: it only affects pirates 

SodaGod: No?

BennyBoy: well my life is a lie then

BennyBoy: anyways so how goes it

SodaGod: Been a bit of a weird day! Not entirely bad though 

SodaGod: Think me and Forzen might’ve made a new friend?

BennyBoy: what kinda friend 

SodaGod: Just a normal one 

SodaGod: His name is Darnold and he works at a soda parlor!

BennyBoy: oh hold on

BennyBoy: from that one place i told you about?

SodaGod: Yeah! I liked it a lot!

BennyBoy: hell yeah knew you would

BennyBoy: this darnold guy cute?

SodaGod: why is that always your first question?

BennyBoy: bc you usually avoid the question when they are

BennyBoy: so how cute is he

SodaGod: Benrey I just met him

BennyBoy: double evading questions?

BennyBoy: oh ho ho ho cutie alert 

BennyBoy: wingman benny time

SodaGod: Benrey!

SodaGod: I appreciate it but I don’t want to rush it!

SodaGod: Plus I’m still grappling with other feelings now really isn’t the time for more!

BennyBoy: alrightyyyy

BennyBoy: but say the word and i will make you look so good

BennyBoy: ‘hey yeah this is m’boy tommy. he’s charming, single, hot, single, really fuckin’ smart, and did i mention single?’

BennyBoy: boom. date acquired.

BennyBoy: works every time 

SodaGod: You’ve only been a wingman for me once!

BennyBoy: and it worked. 100% success rate.

BennyBoy: anyways what's gramps sayin’

SodaGod: Looks like he’s free!

SodaGod: I’ll head your way soon!

BennyBoy: sweeeeeeet

BennyBoy: the dynamic duo is back and unbanned from the laser tag place

SodaGod: Just don’t get us banned again!

SodaGod: I like this place and I don’t want to screw it up with the owner again 

BennyBoy: you gotta admit it was funny though

BennyBoy: those kids had no idea what hit em

SodaGod: It was really funny I’ll give you that!

SodaGod: But people ask questions when they see you clinging to the ceiling like that! Most humans can’t do that!

SodaGod: You’re lucky it was dark and it didn’t get caught on camera

BennyBoy: a shame it didn't get caught on camera. i would pay to see that footage

SodaGod: Just remember to keep everything on the down low, okay?

SodaGod: For all of our safety

BennyBoy: don’t worry ‘bout me

BennyBoy: i got it allllllll under control

SodaGod: Okay okay I trust you!

SodaGod: I’m on my way

SodaGod: Let’s play some laser tag!

BennyBoy: let’s GOOOOOOOOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't mean for it to get serious for a moment there but that's how it BE.
> 
> I'm having a little too much fun writing this. We got SERIOUS Tommy and we got LAIDBACK Tommy content tonight! 
> 
> The lore and plot for this fic is steadily rising and I don't know what to do about it. But nonetheless, hopefully this was entertaining! If you liked it, consider leaving a comment because they are VERY cool to get! Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> SO, this was kinda a spontaneously written fic as I got an urge to write a chat fic again and this is what I ended up with! It's very indulgent, might update sporadically but hopefully fun nonetheless!
> 
> It's gonna be mostly fun but I do have a few plot points in mind that will come up as I can't resist a little plot and mystery. We'll see where it goes! Thank you for reading this far, consider leaving a comment if you liked it as they kinda fuel me!
> 
> ([My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/purplecatghostposts))


End file.
